Happiness, The Balancing Act

 

Happiness is a universal feeling which is uniquely obtained and experienced by individuals and influences our experience and interaction with the Self and Other.  Happiness, meaning (fulfillment), engagement and pleasure influence our motivation to live, our quality of life and interpersonal relationships.   

Emotions are temporary but their impact may not be.  I once attended a session with a psychologist who asked, “when last were you happy?”.  Memories serve as guiding lights.  Our memories are subject to our perception which can evolve, changing the emotion attached to the memory.  Activities create emotions which are subject to our perception, which determines how we experience the activity and therefore guides us towards or away from similar experiences.     

Our perception is greatly influenced by our inner language.  Perception and inner language are in constant communication.  We can therefore surmise that perception and inner language plays a major role in our happiness.  Perception and inner language also play major roles in all aspects of our sexuality.  It is notable that, during a study, sex ranked as the activity that provided the most pleasure, happiness, meaning and engagement for adults.  That being said, we can’t rely on one activity to experience the full extent of happiness, pleasure, engagement and meaning.  [1]We need the endorsement of all the mentioned aspect to reach “the full life” which contributes significantly to a higher satisfaction with life (Perterson et. al., 2005; Vella-Brodrick, Park & Peterson, 2009). 

[1]“We need to seek ways to increase pleasure AND meaning AND engagement and thereby balance our well-being portfolio”.

Happiness is a slice of the cake, it’s not the entire cake.  The cake consists of quantities of different ingredients.  We are the bakers of our cake.  We need to add the correct quantities.  It is a conscious balancing act which requires discipline and insight.    

Edward De Bono speaks about the proper (to mean effective) pursuit of happiness.  To know what makes one happy requires self-awareness which is gained by self-observation, introspection, awareness of one’s own temperament and past experiences (memories).

The English language groups the word “happiness” as a noun however, grouping it as a verb would be more suitable to its meaning.  Happiness is within our control and our own responsibility.  We can choose situations that generate happiness or work on changing our perceptions to allow us to experience more happiness.  It is something we incubate and experience whilst intentionally and continually recreating.

 

With Love,

 

Lynett O.

 

Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash

[1]Well-being in its Natural Habitat: Orientations to Happiness and the Experience of Everyday Activities.  Carsten J. Grimm, Depart. Of Psychology, University of Cantenbury.