Enthusiasm is a wonderful, life-enhancing emotion that influences the Self and requires interaction with the Another (the “something” one is excited about). Enthusiasm may be bold, bright and short-lived or subtle and consistent. Some individuals are easily excited and others not; its very much dependent on personality type. That which makes us enthusiastic, provides insight into our preferences. Enthusiasm may lead to interest, joy, pleasure, excitement, purpose, self-actualization and other. When we consult The Emotional Guidance Scale, we note that “Enthusiasm” is quite high on the positive emotion side, preceded by a positive expectation of belief and followed by passion. Enthusiasm is therefore an element of passion.
1) I need my partner to be sexually enthusiastic about me. I want him/ her to look at me and think “yeah, I’ll tap that!” and he/ she need me to feel the same way. Sure, it won’t be everyday but, from time to time, we both need such validation of our sexuality. Being in a committed long-term relationship may result in being less "enthusiastic" about sex for a variety of reasons. Your love language (five love languages being Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch - Gary Chapman) may not be physical connection, or you may be in a phase of your life or relationship where sex isn't on your mind as much, if at all. But here's the thing, I am yet to meet someone who doesn't WANT to be excited about sex and, our partner needs us to be and vice versa. Therefore, we must become creative and consciously cultivate enthusiasm. You may need your partner to become enthusiastic in communicating with you (if he/she isn't a great communicator but it's your love language). You cultivate that in yourself which will benefit your sexual enthusiasm and positively influence your interactions with your partner, and your partner must take the responsibility on him/herself to do the same. This is where the requirement of “I want you to want to…” comes in. We need our partners to be enthusiastic about the things we care about (as always, vice versa). I have stated sex and communication as the main object of enthusiasm in this section, but it applies to all facets of life.
2) Consider how you can be sexually enthusiastic about yourself. The first requirement is being accepting of your sexual orientation, gender identification and side, gender role and preferences. The second requirement is the understanding that it takes work. Pay close attention to yourself. Establish what you requires to be enthusiastic about yourself and what advances or depletes your sense of sexuality.
3) Enthusiasm extends to our openness and willingness to try new things. We may end up not being so incredibly enthusiastic about an activity/ position and that is perfectly fine. Protect your integrity, values and norms as contradicting them will cause more harm to your sexual self-esteem than forgoing a certain idea.
Always remain enthusiastic about personal and relational growth and create opportunities to experience such.
With Love,
Photo by Justin Follis on Unsplash
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