When it comes to minority sexuality it is very difficult to steer away from the history of these minorities, the struggles and the reasons for certain sexualities/ lifestyles or choices to be labelled as minority but in this assignment the aim is to discuss what constitutes as ethics in minority sexualities and secondly, what can be learnt from them.
Any sexual pathway consciously chosen and mindfully followed can be a positive, creative force in the lives of the individuals and their communities. – The Ethical Slut
Ethics is concerned with what is good for individuals and society and is also described as moral philosophy. The term is derived from the Greek word ethos which can mean custom, habit, character or disposition. - www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/introduction/intro_1.shtml
Criteria for ethical sex
- Consent from all parties involved, i.e. an active collaboration for the benefit, well-being and pleasure of all persons concerned.
- Is anyone being harmed and is there any way to avoid such harm?
- Are there any risks involved, identifying these risks along with measures to avoid/ minimize said risks? Are everyone involved aware of the risks?
- How pleasurable are the experience(s)?
- What can be learned from the activities/ experiences?
- Is it promoting personal growth? Questioning mythology and traditions and growing through thoughtfulness, introspection, allowing oneself to truly feel and experience one’s own emotions as well as allowing for meaningful, honest communication.
- Honesty (emotional and communicative), Introspection and self-knowledge: with one-self as well as among partners. Individuals forming part of minority sexualities must be able to identify their emotions and motivations in order for them to achieve clarification, purpose and act in accordance with such purpose. Minority sexualities are mindful, purposeful and conscious thoughts, emotions, choices and actions which requires that each individual knows and understand what they would like to achieve as well as their limits.
- Is it helping to make the world a better place? Quite a large number of people across the globe has been taught to have a sex-negative approach. Guilt and shame over our sexual desires, over our bodies, that our bodies are sinful (self-loathing). By embracing our sexuality, by being proud of our human bodies and the pleasures, intimacy and connection it can bring us, we are making the world a better place. Through the acceptance of our sexuality, we are allowing ourselves to be fulfilled, by embracing our sexual desires and needs, we are opening the door to acceptance of ourselves as well as others along with a more positive experience of our individual lives.
- Each individual must understand the ramifications of their sexual choices. With choice comes responsibility.
- Promotion of positive self-image, self-worth, self-respect, self-acceptance.
- Communication. Includes verbal and non-verbal communication skills as well as listening skills. With minority sexualities, nothing can be assumed and each relationship is unique therefore communication is a vital skill in navigating minority relationship styles. Communication ties in with all other criteria for ethical sex.
- Protection of our rights to scientifically accurate and positive sex education and information: Due to censorship, accurate sex information wasn’t always available and that stifled individual sexual growth and encouraged sex-negative attitudes. Because of the lack of accurate information, many minorities, if not all minority sexualities, suffered and individuals were labeled as sinful, unnatural, pathological, sick, among other. As a result, minority sexualities are very much pro-sexual education to support understanding and acceptance of the wide range of sexualities.
- A curious and adventurous nature.
- A sex-positive approach: that sex and sexuality is a positive human experience which is meant for pleasure, connection and intimacy. It describes an optimistic, open-minded, nonjudgmental attitude towards all forms of consensual sexuality.
- An understanding and respect for oneself, others as well as the diversity of relationships.
- Integrity: to quote directly from The Ethical Slut “….a fundamental step…..is to bring your locus of control into yourself – to recognize the difference between your “stuff” and other people’s. When you do this, you become able to complete yourself.”
- Faithfulness. To be faithful to your personal beliefs and sexuality as well as honoring your commitments and respecting your friends and lovers, caring for their well-being as well as your own.
- Setting and Respecting Boundaries. In terms of what we share, offer, personally, emotionally and sexually. Boundaries in terms of my personal goals, objectives and growth which is not dependent on another.
- Trusting oneself: The very first step in turning away from a form of sexuality that is widely accepted by all, is a trust in oneself. One has to trust in one’s emotions, one’s desires and needs, one’s very core.
- A minority sexuality allows for change. What works for you now, may not at some point in the future and minority lifestyles tend to allow for this. The ability to know, love and accept oneself is critical in establishing a healthy ethics outlook as one then has the freedom to live an authentic life not bound by cultural and societal restrictions. Minority sexualities promote a life free from shame and guilt and accepting differences and uniqueness.
The Complexity that is Sexuality
Traditional definitions of sexual identity is being challenged (if one considers bisexuality as example). Sexual attractions may say one thing about us, sexual behaviour another and sexual identity yet another. The potential of human sexuality is infinite and minorities makes us aware of this fact. The complexities faced by minority relationship styles may also assist more traditional relationship and sexualities in growth and problem solving.
Final Note
In monogamous heterosexual
relationships, certain morals and principles are assumed whereas with minority
sexuality, they must almost be proved to a skeptical audience. Early on in investigating minority
sexualities and lifestyles, it becomes clear that morals, principles,
self-knowledge, honesty and communication must constantly be developed leading
me to belief that these might be stronger in individuals who practice/ live
minority sexuality than those who don’t.
As mentioned before, in minority sexuality nothing can be assumed but in
majority sexuality, much is assumed leaving very little space for true ethical
sexuality or even personal growth. In
minority sexuality every aspect of expectations, lifestyles, wants, needs
desires, actions and every other aspect of life is communicated and negotiated
with, more often than not, a larger audience than in majority lifestyles which
provides the opportunity for immense personal growth, compassion and
empathy. The object of this assignment
is not to compare majority to minority and therefore I’d like to clarify that
the points above merely suggest that sexual ethics in minority sexualities may
be higher than in the majority.
With Love,
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