Bonding and trust are integral parts of a relationship and I've decided to provide a few Bonding exercises and one exercise on Trust. You need to be 100% sure you want to create or strengthen the intimacy between yourself and your partner and vice versa before commencing with these exercises. We often misunderstand and underestimate the true meaning of intimacy and the power it has. Note: an emotional bond cannot be forced, but it can be given the opportunity to grow.
Bonding
The goal of bonding is to create and strengthen intimate feelings between partners. Here are a few exercises to promote bonding:
- Eye gaze. Hint: stare into your partner’s eye that is on his non-dominant side. Try to put your soul into your gaze.
- Nurturing. This exercise involves the partner being nurtured, to be enveloped by his/her partner via an embrace for around 10 minutes (therefore the positioning must be comfortable). Listen to each other’s breathing and feel your hearts beat together.
- Lying together. One partner to lies on top of the other partner for several minutes, without talking, in a comfortable manner, and simply soak up the connection.
- Palm Energy. Sit crossed legged facing each other (deep, loving gaze). Place your palms together and hold for 10 sec feeling the warmth of the connection. Now, hold your hands a tiny bit apart and feel the energy flow between you. Hold for around 5 mins.
- Palm Energy and Breath Sharing. Begin with the palm energy exercise but then move your faces close together; as one partner breaths in, the other breaths out. Mentally you will need to be present and consciously focus on the movement of air and how you are healing your partner through “your breath of life”. Hint: mints may be a good idea prior to this exercise.
Trust
We can't force trust; we can only work towards it and maintain it responsibly. Below is a exercise that requires self-discipline, courage and a desire to increase both trust and bonding with your partner.
- Towel over face
Its sounds a bit dysfunctional but it’ll soon make sense and is a very useful exercise for you to become comfortable with being pleasured. Often, we feel self-conscious receiving pleasure and afraid of what our partner will think of us if we decide to let go of control and simply enjoy ourselves OR, we feel pressured to display our pleasure (facial, moaning, twitching or otherwise; fake or real) to make our partner feel good about their ability to please you. It also removes the pressure from the active partner to constantly gauge via your expression as to whether you’re enjoying yourself (performance pressure on both partners). The towel over face may very well be a silk scarf or soft, breathable, comforting pillow. The exercise involves the passive partner having something over his/her face with the active partner pleasuring the passive partner but for their own enjoyment. The passive partner must remain completely passive to avoid falling into old habits of “forcing positive feedback”. The passive partner focuses on breathing, relaxing and various aspects of the caress. Note: this caress can be a full body caress, penetration, masturbation, oral stimulation…..whatever the active partner find the most pleasurable. Your partners’ body is your playground (subject, as always, to all aspects of consent).
This exercise is especially good for women who struggle reaching orgasm or men who have problems with erection. It removes anxiety as each partner is instructed to simply enjoy themselves. Don’t try to make the experience better but don’t ward off emotions and sensations either; just go with it.
In a heterosexual setting, the man as the active partner is very good for men who struggle with inhibited ejaculation and women who try too hard to reach orgasm. Men, remember you want to awaken your partners sexuality so be mindful of the manner in which you touch.
Because this exercise really stretches the boundaries of trust, some people have a strong emotional reaction to it. The exercise will become pleasurable with practice. If there are trust issues to begin with or an aversion to wanting to become intimate with your partner, this exercise must not be attempted until resolution of these issues.
It can be pleasurable or even fulfill a fantasy of being “done to”. It reminds you that you are responsible for your own arousal, encourages you to experiment with sexual activities, forces you to pay attention to your own enjoyment and may reduce some of your inhibitions.
With Love,
Image by Analise Benevides, Unsplash
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